Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I fill condoms, not promises.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
