So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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