i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
We talked him into tasing himself.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
