i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
