She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
