you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
