I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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