your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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