I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
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