are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
