My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
