Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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