before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
