There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
That was before I lit my hair on fire
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
