Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Randomize
