He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
