i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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