my mouth tastes like poor choices
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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