Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
