wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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