Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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