Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
