I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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