Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I don't deserve a penis
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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