Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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