Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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