My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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