Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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