Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
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