summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
