Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
