I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
