girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
