if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
