She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
