This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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