Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
The power of my boobs compel you
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize