are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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