Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
