Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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