I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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