The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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