it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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