Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I accidentally had phone sex last night
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
bring money and cleavage
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
