We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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