chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
