dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
