I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
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