Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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