why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
