when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
