You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
