Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
