Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize