You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
