You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
