my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
