nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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