Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
