He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
