her body is proportioned like a family guy character
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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