I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
