omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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