Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
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