You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
