bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
