We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
