I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
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