GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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