Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
